I was so excited. My partner was napping when I brought her home. When he woke up, there I was, hugging a cat with my big, round belly. He didn’t say much. Maybe he didn’t want to hurt my feelings because I was pregnant, or maybe he was just too surprised to react.

Her name was Gigi. Our life together was short. She didn’t cross the rainbow bridge, but we had to let her go because our landlord didn’t want to make other tenants uncomfortable. She got loud when she was in heat, and we didn’t know what to do back then. It broke my heart. When her new parents came to get her, I cried so hard. Thinking about it feels like it was just yesterday.

That experience taught me so much. It took almost three years before I had the courage to adopt again. This time, I adopted two bonded cats… and now, I have three. (More on that later!)

Here are the seven things I wish someone had told me before becoming a cat parent.

7 Things No One Told Me (But I Wish I Knew)

1. Cats Need Time and Space to Trust You

So why do I have three cats now when I said I adopted two? Well… I made my first mistake: 

I didn’t spay or neuter them right away. They ended up mating, and now we have a baby cat.

Meet Ginger, Misty, and Solen (their child. I guess that makes her a kitten? Haha).

When they first got to our home, they were both inside a cage. Misty was the first to step out. She’s curious and brave. She sniffed around like a true explorer. Ginger, on the other hand, stayed inside. He looked so scared. It took a while before he felt safe enough to come out.

In the first few days, they just ignored us. I didn’t force them. I would call them from a distance, and if they didn’t respond, I’d just leave them be. I gave them food, water, and space.

Eventually, they started responding when I called their names. Turns out, they love food. (Who doesn’t, right?) Now they get excited whenever they hear the sound of plastic, they know it’s feeding time.

Building trust takes time. I had to earn it. But once you do, the connection becomes really special.

2. They Have Strong Personalities (And They Run the House)

They’re all so different!

Misty is confident and a bit wild. She loves climbing on chairs, couches, and even our bamboo divider. She’s our little acrobat.

Ginger is more cautious. A bit of a scaredy cat, but he’s the sweetest. He loves cuddles the most. He becomes really puffy when he sees the vacuum cleaner - it is his biggest enemy. We have to be really careful when he is moving slowly because if we make a sound, he will just jump and we don’t want to get scratched.

Misty has her own way of showing affection. She doesn’t always want to be touched, but when she does, she’ll race me up the stairs to my home office and wait for me by the door.

And then there was that night when Misty wouldn’t stop following me. She climbed on my lap and just stared at me with eyes that felt like they were trying to say something. I didn’t know then that she was about to give birth. The next day, I saw a bit of blood and found only one kitten—Solen. I sat there with Misty, petting her, telling her how proud I was. It felt like a mama-to-mama moment. She looked at me like she understood. It’s something I’ll never forget.

Solen? She’s grown now, but she had a rough experience with our toddler, so she avoids him like the plague. But when she’s upstairs (her safe zone), she rolls on her back and shows her belly whenever I come near. I think she wants cuddles, but she’s still a bit scared.

3. Vet Visits and Cat Health Are a Whole Thing

Vet visits shocked me.

I grew up in a small town where we didn’t really take cats to the vet. We just fed them with scraps or “pagpag,” as we say in Tagalog, and hoped for the best. If they got sick, we cried and moved on. That was the mindset.

But now, I know better.

One of the scariest moments was when Misty stopped playing and barely ate anything. She looked weak. I brushed it off at first, thinking maybe she just needed rest. But after a week, I realized something was really wrong. I brought her to the vet, and they told me she had a fever, low immune system, and dehydration.

The consultation and meds cost ₱2,000 (about $35–40 USD), and the vet recommended a 4-in-1 test but it wasn’t available, and I didn’t have the budget anyway. So I just prayed the meds would work.

I felt terrible. I blamed myself for not seeing the signs sooner. I fed her directly from the pouch, holding it up so she could eat without lifting her head. I had to be really hands-on with the meds and feedings.

Thankfully, she recovered. But that experience shook me. I kept thinking: What if she didn’t? What if I failed her?

Being a cat parent means carrying that kind of weight sometimes. You doubt, you worry, but you still show up.

4. Cats Communicate, Just Not Like We Do

I didn’t know much about cat behavior at first. I just responded to their meows for food and played with them whenever they were in the mood.

It wasn’t until I started working with Laurelle that I learned about things like tail twitches and body language. Apparently, their tails can say a lot. The way they move, the way they look at you? It all means something.

Now, I notice the little things more. The slow blinks, the little stretches, the way their ears flick when they’re annoyed. I can tell when they want space or when they’re craving attention. Ginger has this habit of gently pawing at me when he wants to be cuddled. Misty flicks her tail quickly when she’s done playing, and Solen’s meows have different pitches depending on whether she wants food or is just bored.

Sometimes they’ll stare at the wall or ceiling, and I’ll catch myself laughing, like, “What are you looking at?” They’re funny and unpredictable little creatures, and I often wonder what they’re really thinking. But even when I don’t understand, I feel like they still get me.

Their silence is comforting. It’s like their presence says, “I’m here. I’ve got you.”

5. Your Routine Will Never Be the Same (In a Good Way)

I used to love sleeping in. Now? I’m up at 6 AM because the cats start crying for food like little alarm clocks.

They’ve turned me into a morning person, something I never thought would happen.

They’re now part of my daily routine. When I take a break from work, I cuddle or play with them. When I’m stressed, I look at Misty. She’s so pretty. I mean, I love all of them, but Misty’s my girl. I call her “Misty Girl” or “Pretty Girl.”

And yes, I now have a budget for their treats. I used to think they were optional… nope. My cats live for them.

Also, here’s the story of how I ended up with two instead of one:

When I saw Misty’s adoption photo, I was instantly drawn to her. Her eyes were beautiful. Almost as if she was silently telling me, “Pick me.” I just knew she was the one. But then, her previous parents asked if I could take them both since they were bonded. And how could I say no to that? So I took Misty… plus one. Ginger came along, and I’ve never looked back since. It was probably one of the best spontaneous decisions I’ve ever made.

6. Saying Goodbye Temporarily Is Harder Than You’d Think

Whenever we go on trips, I feel guilty leaving them behind. I wonder if they’re okay, if they’re stressed, or if they miss us.

Since we’re currently renting, we had to find a way to keep them (and the house) safe. At night and whenever we’re out, we put them in a cozy, well-ventilated cage with soft bedding and water. It’s not ideal forever, but it’s what works for now. They still get plenty of playtime and affection during the day.

I sometimes feel like they sense when we’re about to leave. Misty hides in the corner, Solen becomes extra quiet, and Ginger follows me around like a little shadow. Saying goodbye, even for a weekend, makes my heart ache.

There were times when we considered letting them go. Life got busy, travel was hard, and money was tight. But deep down, I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to repeat the past. I made a promise to myself that I would be more responsible this time.

Now, if we can, we bring them with us. If not, we hire a sitter we trust. I always leave detailed instructions, their favorite toys, and even a playlist of calming cat music.

They are part of our little family and I want to show up for them, the way they show up for me.

7. The Bond Is Deeper Than I Ever Expected

I honestly think cats are little tigers. I just love their fur, their scent, their energy. Cuddling them brings me so much peace. Sometimes I just watch them sleep and wonder: how is it possible for something this small to make me feel this safe?

If they ever leave me, my heart will break into three pieces, one for each of them.

That’s how deep the bond is.

They follow me around when they’re hungry, or just to check if I’m still alive after a long bathroom break (LOL). They make our home feel alive. Without them, life would feel… empty.

When I’m feeling low, they curl up next to me like they know. On tough days, their soft purrs and warm bodies remind me that I’m not alone. They’re my emotional support, my comfort zone, my daily dose of love and laughter.

They’ve helped me heal in ways I never expected. Through every mistake, every learning curve, every messy day, they’ve stayed. They’ve taught me about unconditional love. About presence. About being there without needing to say a word.

They make me happy. So I want to make them happy, too.

Final Reflection

I never imagined that being a cat parent would add so much color and joy to my life.

I used to think I was selfish, but having them taught me how to care deeply, how to think of someone else before myself. I feed them before I feed myself. I clean their space even when I’m tired. I worry when they’re quiet. I celebrate when they’re playful.

And just like with human parenting, there’s no manual. There’s just love. You learn patience. You learn how to be present. You learn that things will get messy, and that’s okay.

To anyone thinking about becoming a cat parent, please know this: every cat is different. They all have quirks and moods, but that’s what makes getting to know them so special.

They might not be with us forever, but while they’re here, I’m going to give them the happiest, healthiest life I can. Because they deserve that. And so do we.